Article

As printed in the newspaper column: A Voice In The Mountains, By Alan D. Turner

NANA AND HER COUNTRY BOY TOGETHER AGAIN

For those who know me personally, you know that through the years My Nancy and I have had to personally face more than our fair share of traumatic experiences, ones that have been so devastating; the initial response was to just give up on life; losing the very will to continue living.

One such occurrence occurred the very year that I began writing this column, when our sweet Grandson, Kaleb Alan Turner left this world prematurely at the young age of only sixteen years old, in a fatal automobile accident during this time of the year on 10/13/2008.

For Nancy, known to her Kaleb as “His Nana”, when that tragic day occurred; there was the initial overwhelming feeling of no longer being capable of living one more day without him still being with us. Yet, by the pure mercy and grace of our Lord Jesus, He kept her (and me) going.

Part of that grace was our love (that He gave us) for one another, which enabled us to keep each other going. Yet, I also believe there was a light of life inside Nancy that dimmed a little less bright.

Kaleb and His Nana had such a close connection that bonded them together, not only biologically, but spiritually. This bond being so strong, that just prior to Nancy going on ahead of me to be with not only our Good Lord, but Her Kaleb as well; that The Lord allowed Kaleb to come to her, assuring her that it was okay for her to come on, if she was ready to come. Within days, she did just that.

Now, I find myself with the desire to just give up; recognizing that it is my own internal light that is dimming less; for I don’t have My Nancy alongside me to keep me going.

For the first time in more than forty plus years, I don’t have Nancy to lean on and to depend on. The one sure thing that we both could always rely on (outside of our personal relationship with our Lord), was that as long as we at least had each other, we could endure whatever might come our way; even the departure of our loved ones; which includes not only our Kaleb, but our own children and other grandchildren.

This time, I must truly rely “even more” on the pure mercy and grace of our Lord Jesus. This does not take away from the love and support that obviously I have from our remaining Children and other family members and friends. But, at the end of the day, they are still living their lives in their own homes, as they should, while I am “still living” in the house, that was our home, only because of Nancy being there.

One event that plays over and over in my mind that continually reinforces the reality of my now being alone in this house, was the event that occurred the very day that Kaleb went on ahead of us: Nancy and I came home and finally laid down together and held each other close, until we both finally fell asleep for a few hours; arising together, to face together our life we now were being forced to live without our precious Redheaded Country Boy being a part of.

This time, I was forced to come home and lay down by myself in not only an empty bed, but now to live in an empty house. I envy My Nancy and our Kaleb being together again. Not that I would wish for either of the two to trade places with me, just that we had to be separated, even if the separation is temporary, as I do have a Blessed Hope of being where they are at, it’s just doesn’t seem soon enough.

As Nancy and I were left with no other choice but to keep living one day at a time; waiting for the day when we would be reunited with our Kaleb and our Children and other Grandchildren. I now find myself waiting by myself, as she has now made that transition. Praying for the day, when I no longer will be forced to continue living alone.

For those who may read this article and are fearful that I might have a death wish, I assure you that I do not. I will live as long as The Good Lord desires for me to, endeavoring to do all I can do to share Him with all who will receive Him and His Eternal Will for their lives as well. As Paul shared concerning himself in The Bible, I too have the same opinion:

“For to me to live is (for) Christ (sake), and to die is (for my own personal) gain” (with added comment Philippians 1: 21)

Thank you for reading this column, as I continue to share THIS ONE MAN’S OPINION concerning subjects that matter to ME, and to my God, to all of us, all our families, and to everyone else.

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10/10/2022 — adt