As printed in the newspaper column: A Voice In The Mountains, By Alan D. Turner

LETTING HER GO

In the previous article titled, At Peace with The Lord, I shared how that through a little memorial stone that Nancy bought prior to her Heavenly Home-Going is being used to help me come to terms with her leaving me to go be with her Lord.

I’m not saying it is easy, or that I am totally there, but I do believe that I am coming at peace, by way of my knowing that Nancy is no longer suffering in her body. For outside of a miracle healing, which did not occur while she was still here with me; Nancy’s leaving was her only way of being totally healed.

At this point, I am being sustained by way of my not trying to focus on my pain of not having her with me still, but instead focusing on her no longer needing to struggle to stay alive for the sole purpose of not wanting to leave me. For true love is selfless; it is putting the other’s needs in front of yours. This is even truer, when it comes to giving your permission to someone whom you dearly love to go ahead of you, when everything within you wants them to stay! And The Lord knows that I truly love My Nancy (even as I know her love for me being the same).

This need to sometimes be willing to give your permission to let your loved one go ahead of you, I learned from My Nancy; who personally witnessed it being demonstrated while she worked for years in the hospital and nursing homes; when she saw firsthand how people would endure such sufferings, because they did not want to leave their families. Where she saw the families plead with those who were at death’s door, to stay and not leave them! How these pleadings would cause the ill-loved one to struggle on.

In one such incident, Nancy told me how there was an elderly mother in the hospital who was clearly dying, whose grown children were doing such pleading. Finally, one of the daughters took Nancy into the hallway, inquiring about how much longer it would be before her mother would be leaving them, for she could see her mother was truly struggling. Nancy shared with the daughter that her mother was waiting for her family to give her permission to go on. The daughter shared that information with the others of her family, and the next time Nancy went into that room, the family requested that she be the one to tell their mother it was okay to go, as they were unable to do it themselves. So, after all the family had told their mother they loved her; Nancy shared with the mother how that her children were okay with her going on. Nancy said within seconds of hearing those words, the mother settled into a peaceful calm and immediately when on.

Through the years, Nancy and I have seen for ourselves how this same selfless act of love being manifested by others brought peace to both those who went on and those who were left behind. I myself with my Nancy, as a couple have had to do the same for others; never thinking that I too would ever have to be faced with the need for myself alone to be able to give My sweet Nancy such permission.

Nancy had no problem going to her Heavenly Home for herself, where she knew she wouldn’t have to suffer anymore; the only thing that was keeping her here was her love for her family. I witnessed her enduring suffering for longer than one would expect she would be capable of bearing; all because of not only her love for me, but for her love as well for her children, grandchildren, and the recent birth of our great-grandchild.

Nancy and I for the last year talked repeatedly about this, and I kept telling her, “Listen Sweetheart, I’m not okay with you leaving me; but I’m okay if leaving me means you don’t have to suffer anymore, and I don’t want you to keep fighting; I don’t want you to keep struggling if the only reason you’re struggling is because you’re afraid that I’m not going to be okay without you, or the children won’t be okay without you; because I want you to know, we’ll be okay as long as we know you’re okay, and as long as we know you’re out of pain, we’ll come to terms with it”.

Toward the end, we didn’t realize it was going to occur as quickly as it did. We thought we had maybe several months still left, but that week prior to her leaving, with tears in her eyes she began to cry out loud, “I don’t want to leave my family, but I’m in so much pain; I’ve got to get relief!” And once again, with my own tears being held back, I had to ensure her that I would be okay if she decided to go on ahead of me; that our Good Lord would keep me until we both will be with Him in our Heavenly-Home. I had no idea that we were within just a few days from that occurring. Thank you Nancy for teaching me how to me there for you; reciprocating that same true love that you loved me with.

As I close, I do so being comforted by our Good Lord; knowing that My Nancy is finally at peace, literally being with Him. And at the same time I am learning how to abide at peace in The Lord. For I am in The Lord and He is within me by His Holy Spirit, and one of the fruits of having His Spirit is His Peace that passes all understanding, keeping our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus; which I am finding can be experienced even in the midst of all of life’s heartaches, even ones that are as devastating as this.

Once again, I’m not saying it is easy, or that I am totally there, but by God’s Grace, I am coming to terms with presently being here without My Nancy being physically present with me; for I’ll always have her with me in my heart and soul, and to some degree even within my spirit; as we both shared having the same one Holy Spirit abiding within us, making us not only one with each other, but even greater – one with our Lord and Savior, JESUS, and our one God Eternal!

THIS HAS BEEN ONE MAN’S OPINION OF MINE AND THE LORD’S NANCY.

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05/15/2022 — adt